... when you have a deadline to meet.
A lot has happened in the past few weeks. Unfortunately, none of these things involved getting my appetite back.
First things first - I "celebrated" my thirtieth birthday. I use the term "celebrated" loosely, as there wasn't much to celebrate. I'm not someone who gets too caught up in birthdays and celebrations and organising huge parties - but I'd like to think people will remember, even if they don't get an invite to a celebration. This year, not many people did. It broke my heart and is still a pretty tough realisation to have - people who I will always go out of my way to buy a card, a gift, send flowers, or call for their birthdays didn't even acknowledge the occasion. There are so many emotions caught up in it all, and I don't want to go into it further, but allow this to be a cautionary tale - aside from occasions like Mother's/Father's Day, birthdays are the only day we celebrate the people we love.
Speaking of feeling like rubbish - if the constant nausea for the past 6 weeks hasn't been enough, throw a hefty dose of sleep deprivation into the mix. It's testing me in more ways than one, but I could put up with it when I was pushing myself to stay awake to finish assignments. It's nearly 3am on Monday morning now, with absolutely no purpose to my insomnia whatsoever. The worst part is that I am utterly exhausted - physically, mentally and emotionally - yet sleep continues to be difficult to come by.
After all the things that bring my mood down, it was lovely to see my rheumatologist for my usual check-in. To his delight, and mine, things were good. The difference in my body between drugs that work and those that don't is nothing short of remarkable. I always find Dr G to be a pretty measured man emotionally speaking, but even he couldn't hide his delight in my progress. We don't get many wins in auto-immune diseases, so I'll take this one!
Anyway - time to attempt to get at least a couple of hours sleep in. Pity my colleagues, and the patients in ICU tomorrow... their pharmacist is going to be a little sub-par!
