Thirty things about approaching thirty...

My thirtieth birthday is rapidly approaching – and despite plentiful reassurance from friends who have surpassed this auspicious milestone, I can’t help but fluctuate between being completely at ease with (and just a little bit excited about) it, and the opposite end of the spectrum, being completely and utterly terrified about what is about to happen to me mentally and physically!

 

I hear this little voice in my head that says (ok, screams) “What on earth is your problem, woman?  You’ve already tackled life while feeling like a ninety year-old, so how hard can thirty be?  Really?!”.  That little voice has a very valid point – thirty isn’t that big a deal when your body ages at an accelerated rate compared to the rest of you.  And I have the advantage of not really looking my age – courtesy of some stellar genetics from my mummy dearest, and a Staph infection when I was sixteen that all but peeled all the skin off my face.  Sounds revolting – and trust me, it was! – but it’s meant that my skin is relatively new compared to the rest of me, and it’s forced me to take really, really good care of it, resulting in an almost flawless complexion that doesn’t look thirty (and neither it should, given it’s only 14 years old!). 

Some friends and I were talking about what thirty meant over dinner a few weeks ago.  The thing that we universally agreed on was that none of us – not those of us with incredible careers, or married, or with families, or well-travelled – had achieved all our twenty year-old selves had hoped we would by thirty.  My twenty year-old self had pretty lofty expectations for thirty year-old me.  I had imagined myself working as a pharmacist (tick) in a hospital (tick), married (buh-bow) and contemplating starting a family (buh-bow).  I had hoped I would have seen the world (buh-bow).  I thought I would be paying off my own home (buh-bow), having already paid off my HECS debt (buh-bow), and contemplating some post-grad study (well, I’ve already started – so I guess that’s a tick).  My expectations of myself didn’t change, even though I was diagnosed with RA at 21, I assumed (naively) that it would make absolutely no difference to my life plan.  While I don't blame it for any of the crosses against my twenty year-old self's plans, when it comes to what I thought my life would look like by now - oh, how wrong I was!

In searching for other people’s expectations of themselves at thirty, I found this list that was originally published a few years ago.  The completely hilarious Em Rusciano (follow her on Twitter @emrusciano) wrote a post about it on Mamamia a couple of months ago. 

By 30, you should have:

1. One old boyfriend you can imagine going back to and one who reminds you of how far you’ve come.
2. A decent piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in your family.
3. Something perfect to wear if the employer or man of your dreams wants to see you in an hour.
4. A purse, a suitcase and an umbrella you’re not ashamed to be seen carrying.
5. A youth you’re content to move beyond.
6. A past juicy enough that you’re looking forward to retelling it in your old age.
7. The realisation that you are actually going to have an old age—and some money set aside to help fund it.
8. An e-mail address, a voice mailbox and a bank account—all of which nobody has access to but you.
9. A résumé that is not even the slightest bit padded.
10. One friend who always makes you laugh and one who lets you cry.
11. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.
12. Something ridiculously expensive that you bought for yourself, just because you deserve it.
13. The belief that you deserve it.
14. A skin-care regimen, an exercise routine and a plan for dealing with those few other facets of life that don’t get better after 30.
15. A solid start on a satisfying career, a satisfying relationship and all those other facets of life that do get better.

By 30, you should know:

1. How to fall in love without losing yourself.
2. How you feel about having kids.
3. How to quit a job, break up with a man and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.
4. When to try harder and when to walk away.
5. How to kiss in a way that communicates perfectly what you would and wouldn’t like to happen next.
6. The names of: the Governor General, your great-grandmother and the best tailor in town.
7. How to live alone, even if you don’t like to.
8. How to take control of your own birthday.
9. That you can’t change the length of your calves, the width of your hips or the nature of your parents.
10. That your childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over.
11. What you would and wouldn’t do for money or love.
12. That nobody gets away with smoking, drinking, doing drugs or not flossing for very long.
13. Who you can trust, who you can’t and why you shouldn’t take it personally.
14. Not to apologise for something that isn’t your fault.
15. Why they say life begins at 30.

For the most part, I think I have the list under control.  Granted there are areas of my life that I have prioritised more than others in recent times, and as such things like ‘A solid start on a satisfying relationship’ have been abandoned due to lack of interest - hey, I live in the small town where I grew up, pickings are slim!  But that said, given I now have six weeks until I depart my twenties, perhaps I should be getting my act together and ticking a few more things off my list...!