Following a considerable period of time where my RA has been completely out of control (read: constantly flaring), my lifestyle has changed in a big way. Where once I would go for a walk a few nights a week after work (after letting my gym membership lapse the last time I went through a rough patch), I have become relatively sedentary. I get home from work (which is spent mostly on my feet, and even on a day that I'm "taking it easy" seems no trouble to accumulate 8000+ steps) and am completely exhausted, so the thought of cooking dinner is not only traumatic from a "what on earth am I going to eat?" point of view, but the thought of spending more than a moment more on my feet is utterly out of the question.
The results have been slow coming, but the last week or two when I look in the mirror I don't see myself any more. I've always had reasonably prominent cheekbones, a defined jawline and chin, and as I approach thirty the tell-tale signs of a life of laughter - crow's feet and smile lines - were starting to appear. Between my lifestyle changes and the ridiculous amount of steroids I have poured into my body in the hope of gaining some semblance of control, I have stacked on a ridiculous amount of fluid and weight. The worst part is that first moment you brave putting your feet on the floor each morning. The pain that is a normal part of my morning routine is deterrent enough, but when there's an extra 15kg resting on inflamed toes, feet, ankles, knees and hips - well, it's not ideal.
So what now? The steroids can't go - this week's flare has been a harsh reminder that one should never get ahead of herself, nor too optimistic about the potency of new therapy! My diet isn't terrible, but let's face it, we could all eat better. Exercising sounds wonderful - but the physical exhaustion is a killer, and while I would love to swim or Aquarobics or AquaZumba, the simple fact of the matter is that my skin simply won't tolerate the chlorine content of any pool within a few hundred kilometres. Darn you children who insist on putting the "P" in "Pool".
Instead, I'm going to have to get drastic. We're talking severe caloric restriction. We're talking dramatic turnaround time - because wedding season is nearly upon us and I'm determined to wear 'nice' shoes rather than 'sensible, boring' ones, and that means ditching some of my excess baggage. I'm determined to find a source of exercise that is a) fun, b) minimal-impact, and c) will inspire me to get moving even on the days I would rather slip into an analgesic-induced coma. I'm not sure I can manage to recognise the girl in the mirror before I hit thirty - but I know I can make some changes between now and then to know that she'll be returning sooner rather than later... wish me luck!
PS In addition to Thirty Things About Approaching Thirty, the amazing Em Rusciano (follow her on Twitter) has posted her set of questions on Mamamia today. Check it out.
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