So this is Christmas...

.. and what have you done?
Another year over - a new one just begun.

This is a question I seem to ask myself every year.  I cannot believe 2012 is nearly done and dusted.  It feels like only yesterday we were celebrating the start of 2012 - and here we are, about to do the same for 2013!

It's Christmas Eve Eve here in Australia.  I've wrapped all the presents, done my share of the "Christmas Cooking" and cleaned the house in anticipation of the holidays.  I say holidays as a plural, however I have exactly one day off work, so I guess the 'holidays' are not as relevant to me as they are to most!  Not that I couldn't do with the break, though...

It's been a busy month.  Work has been crazy (not in the DSM-IV psychiatric evaluation sense, but rather the run-off-our-feet-battling-bed-block-and-sick-people-coming-out-of-our-ears sense), with little to no time to worry about RA.  That said, it hasn't been a healthy month.  First up, I had a ripper flare that required two steroid infusions to bring under control, because the 50mg a day of prednisolone wasn't cutting the mustard.  Then, a big old stomach ulcer reared its head - so, after an OGD (my first - I always knew the day would come but I had put it off!) the diagnosis of a pre-pyloric ulcer wasn't exactly a surprise.  The down side was that it bled with the slightest contact with the camera, which means 5 weeks off NSAIDs, with minimal steroids and huge doses of PPIs and H2As to try and induce some healing so they can biopsy it.  It's gonna be a long few weeks...

The minor surprise that came with the scope was the confirmation that I have Sjögrens.   My eyes have been dry and easily irritated as long as I can remember; my mouth is always dry as a chip, and now it turns out my GI tract is 'obviously' that of a Sjögrens patient.  Turns out I am collecting auto-immune diagnoses like some people collect coins or stamps!

So what have I done this year?  I have gotten two steps closer to my post-graduate qualification.  I have been published on Mamamia, which I won't lie - it was a wonderful day for me.  To have RA recognised in public on a site that is visited by thousands of women every day was a fantastic PR boost for people everywhere with autoimmune diseases.  Even better is the feedback I got as a result - friends who told me they wept, shared it with their family and friends, and one who sent the link to her in-denial-with-RA friend (who now takes her meds, realising she has it pretty good!).  The message is filtering out, ever so slowly.  The messages I received from the wonderfully inspiring Christine Schwab and Barbara Mockford who thanked me for sharing my story, and encouraged me to continue to share it with the world.  On a personal note, I have gotten myself to a far better headspace and continued to work towards achieving more of my personal and professional goals.  Looking back it doesn't seem like much, but as any RA patient will attest - sometimes just opening your eyes and getting out of bed feels as big an achievement as winning a Nobel Peace Prize!

Despite the pain, the struggles and the treatment failures, 2012 has been a good year.  This Christmas will be a quiet affair, with just my immediate family.  And I can't wait.  To spend a quiet day with no work, minimal stress (hey, someone has to cook lunch!) and surrounded by the people I love most in this world is my idea of the perfect day.  Irrespective of my pain, I know it will be a wonderful day - and I hope it is the same for all of you.

Wishing you all the merriest of merry Christmases,
and a safe, happy and healthy 2013!